at age 18, i was diagnosed with asthma.

when i left the doctor’s office, i sobbed. i distinctly remember being in the car with my mom, we were on the corner of two major intersections where i grew up. it was raining. i was in high school. prior to the doctor’s visit, i had been running to get into shape for volleyball and i would come home from running and sit on the kitchen counter and cough. and cough. my dad would give me ice water, which helped somewhat. however, after several months of this happening, we knew something was awry.

“…Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you,…”Exodus 23:25

over time, asthma has gotten worse for me. this summer, i was in the doctor’s office being treated for pneumonia. for two hours i had tests ran for hereditary copd, liver disease, autoimmune deficiency, the list goes on and on. at one point, she put a mask on me and had me tested for SARS! in her defense, my doctor is a very thorough clinical doctor and we had just returned from south africa. and while i appreciate my doctors and their thoroughness, it is exhausting to hear a list of things that you might possibly have.

for you were once darkness, but now you are light… -Ephesians 5:8

so, i called my mom. my mom is brave, strong, and has battled through rare a lung disorder. she has made great strides and the doctors at Duke University of helped her with this progress. she prayed for me, out loud, while i sat in my air-conditioned car in the Kroger parking lot.

see, my mom believes in healing. she believes what the Bible has to say about healing. that sickness is not meant for us, that we are meant to live well on this earth.

i started to think she was kinda going off the deep end. then she asked me to read a book entitled, “Christ the Healer” by F.F. Bosworth. the first edition of this book was written in 1924. i literally read the forward, introduction and first paragraph and i started to feel my own faith shift.

what OTHER option do i have? my grandmother died of an asthma attack, i knew that my heredity was not exactly rosy. the doctors are getting concerned. i am healthy in my lifestyle and here i am, sick with a chronic illness. so, okay, what if i do believe healing is possible? can god truly right my ‘smoker’s looking lungs’ as the doc called them? do i really have to have steroids pumping through my chest for who knows how long before the nasal polyps will shrink, my sinuses will clear, i can smell and breathe again?

alright, i will give this book a try.

over the past few months, i have breathed in steroids and suffered the side effects of this process. i have been on another round of antibiotics and prednisone and had to take myself off prednisone due to the extreme side effects–then i read:

the results, down through the years, have been a demonstration of the truth of the inspired declaration that God “is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.” -Ephesians 3:20

woah. i can think that my lungs might be healed. i can think that the meds will kick this crap outta my lungs. i can think it can just be a divine intervention.

i also know my faith is pretty small right now. i have not been a church-goer for sometime. i have been faithful in reading and praying (a bit) and my lifestyle does not always shine.

but then, i remember:

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

interesting how i remember these things at just the right place and right time?

my faith is about the size of a mustard seed. i believe in miracles and divine intervention. i will let god prove it. my doctor even said, i am too vivacious for this to be a part of my life.

i agree.

so today, i am going to fast (a word i loath) something in my life (not to be disclosed here) which has been a stumbling block for me. i am going to pray. i am going to believe.

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